“Kate, if you would put as much effort into working through it as you do fighting it, you would be getting through the acceptance process like the wind,” Betty said. “Doesn’t anyone understand that this is a big deal for me? I’m giving up my life here.” “Don’t be so dramatic, Kate, your life isn’t over.” “It sure feels like it.”
She could have screamed when Betty told her that the transition out of racing could be painful. She didn’t want to leave that world, but knew she had to. Change is not a quick and easy thing, but eventually it would lead to a happier outlook on things, at least she hoped it would. She couldn’t continue to be this angry at life any more.
“Well, if you need anything let me know. I have to get over to Shannon’s to pick up Tina from a birthday party for one of the neighbor girls.” “I probably won’t need anything unless you can find me a new knee.”
Betty shook her head as she let herself out of the condo. Kate went back to the couch and stared out the picture window at her view of the lake. She could feel the anger welling up inside of her. She finally stood up, picked up her glass from the table and threw it at the fireplace. As the pieces of glass were falling to the floor, she screamed at the top of her lungs and then fell to the floor in a heap.
The tears started to flow. Big, breath taking sobs were coming from her body. Her chest was heaving as she tried to catch her breath. She had finally broke down and let her anger start to run out through her tears. She laid on the floor curled up in the fetal position until she heard a knock on her door, which brought her back to reality. She looked around and wondered what she was doing on the floor.
“Kate? Are you O.K.? It is Brandon, let me in!”
Brandon was Kate’s neighbor. He was a rider too, only back and forth to and from work, not racing. She had gone on a few rides with him, just for fun. After she regained some of her composure, she got her breath, dried her tears from her face, and answered the door.
“Are you ok?” He asked as she opened the door. “Emotionally drained,” Kate replied, as she sniffled. “What happened?” “I finally got mad enough about not being able to race anymore. Had a pretty good meltdown.” “You can still ride Kate,” Brandon said, “maybe you can spend a little more time riding with me now.” “I’m built to compete, Brandon, not just ride around town.” “And you did great at racing. You don’t think you were going to be able to do it forever, did you? You were blessed with six years of racing and being a champion for the last two. Be grateful for that.”
She turned away and walked into her living room.She didn’t want to give in to that being the end. She wanted to continue living in the world of being a champion. She now felt like she would have to start over and rebuild her life. She turned around and Brandon had followed her in.
“Kate, life hands everyone a hand to deal with. Some of the cards are challenges that we must overcome. You are one of the strongest people that I know. You’ll be able to start over and become just as good at something else. Not everyone is built to come back. Some people just give up right now and never do anything. You want to show everyone that you are better than that. You can do this Kate. Don’t let it beat you.”
“What am I supposed to do now? Racing is all I have known.” “How about going to college? Or, you have always wanted to create that kids biking program at the community center. Now would be the time to do it.” “My name won’t be as well known anymore. How do I get the sponsorships? Who wants to meet a has been bike racer?” “A lot of kids want to ride bikes. They’ll think you are cool because you have raced and won some. Creating that program has nothing to do with you. It’s about wanting to do it for them. You have to stop feeling so sorry for yourself, get off the sidelines, and start finding a new direction for your life.”